Dear Destiny Friends,

Each of us experiences stress in one form or another. Stress comes in different stages. You can experience financial stress, academic stress, relationship/marriage stress, personal/emotional stress. You may be wondering what the most stressful part of life is. Well, depending on situational variables; mental, financial or relationship stress come tops. This is because when you have bills to take care of or provide for your family and the resources are not available, it can have a damaging effect on your mental and psychological mindset, which if not if not properly handled, can drain you. However, some schools of thought believe that marriage stress has the most damaging effect on a human being, especially when married to the wrong person.

As human beings, stress is inevitable in our life. Stress can be compared as a woman, who a minute few has described as a ‘necessary evil’ that can’t be avoided. The question we must continually deal with on a daily basis is how can we deal with stress in life?

It is often said that ‘whatsoever cannot kill you will make you stronger’, so stress can make you strong if you are smart enough to navigate through it. Some stress syndrome result from too many obligations which were not properly managed, and they end up having adverse effects on the body. It should be noted that nobody is immune to stress. When people say it’s not greener out there, they really know what they mean. Sometimes, we are quick to assume other people are living their best life while you are living your worst life. But, there may be more that meet the eye.

However, what we should be concerned with is how to overcome stress. In my calculated opinion, the best way to avoid stress is to avoid worrying over circumstances or situations that cannot be changed. As human beings, we always have the fear of the unknown which can come in several forms. When you come to the sublime realization that certain things and situations are beyond your control, you’ll realize that you are just worrying yourself unnecessarily.

Many people manage stress in different ways, while some people prefer seeing a therapist, others might prefer different relaxation steps like taking a walk in the garden, reading, sleeping, dancing, swimming, exercising, etc. You just need to know what works for you. Personally, whenever I am stressed, I listen to music or sleep to keep my sanity together.

Another way to overcome the adversity of stress of life is by celebrating little wins and gratitude. Most times, we are quick to condemn ourselves for the mistakes we have made. Sometimes, we are unnecessarily hard on ourselves, while sometimes we are quick to point fingers at circumstances, human beings and institutions as being the cause of our stress. The moment we fail to take ownership of our challenges and accept the fact that life happens to everyone, we’ll continue to experience stress.

The interesting thing about life challenges is that each one of us experience life and stress differently. For instance, the attitude and threshold of pain Mr. A or Ms. A will experience or feel from pain, divorce, or disappointments, will be different from that of Mr. B. or Miss B. This is because we all experience and react to stress, pain, and disappointments differently.

In conclusion, regardless of whatever your situation might be, just be grateful to your creator that you are still alive, and be happy because tomorrow is looking good. You can do this by looking at the street and see what different people are going through. Some don’t have legs, hands, eyes, food, etc. Some don’t even have family, children, spouse, job, some are even wishing they are in your shoes or condition. You can also turn on the television and see what others are experiencing globally. You might be surprised to know some are experiencing wars and earthquakes. The list is literally endless. So, this is me trying to encourage you to know that everyone is going through a different kind of secret frustration. However, if you feel you need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to me via the contact below.

Henry Ukazu writes from New York. He’s a Human Capacity & mindset coach. He’s also a public speaker, youth advocate and creative writer. He works with the New York City Department of Correction as the Legal Coordinator. He’s the author of the acclaimed book Design Your Destiny – Actualizing Your Birthright To Success and President of He can be reached via

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